Monday, June 28, 2010

About delivering a second time (and a birth story)

The first time you're scared because you don't know what to expect-
The second time you're scared because you know what to expect.

Said the midwife-to-be at our last appointment.

Somehow I'm not. I can't wait. And I know what to expect. It would be painful, gross, I'll end up saying I want it all to just stop. But at the end, at the very end, we'll have another little being to love, all depending on us. And that is worth all the pain I'm having right now, and all the intense pain I'm gonna go through that day, and all the helplessness my BF is living.

My first time took me 13h. I had no "practice contractions" before. No braxton hicks. I really, really didn't know what to expect. The pain struck me. So much that it stopped my labor, and since the midwife tried to keep it going by breaking my water, and I couldn't just wait for it to start again... so, to my displeasure, we got to the hospital, called the anastesist. Oh no.

The trip (in ambulance) to the hospital took 20min. My BF was following in the minivan.

As much as I was moaning before getting in ambulance, I felt silent as they closed the door and the mifwife took my hand. I calmed down and grounded. I felt every contractions, as painful as they felt, begin to actually work. I took each waves couragously, and soon felt the urge to push.

By the time we enter the hospital, I was fully dilated and pushing. The BF entered running in the room, and they called the anastesist that she could stay home in her pyj finally (it was 3 am). And I pushed for about 20min.

The pushing didn't hurt. Well, it did, but nothing compared to the contractions.
I felt strong, I felt we were getting somewhere. Then I could see the head of the mirror in front of me.

I requested that me and my BF take the baby out together, and we did (we have an awesome picture with my little hand and his huge hand getting out the tiny thing. I won't post it because some of you might find it gross).

And it was done. I had that little bundle on my belly, all pink, crying strong, covered by various fluid. And I felt awesome. Painless (after the placenta was out. Did you ever touch one? It really feels like velour!) Painless and awesome. I wish I didn't have the IV connected. I didn't need it anyway, but it was an hospital requierement.

The nurse proposed that we stayed in the (ugly, asseptic) hospital room, saying to my BF she would take a camp bed out for him. Do I need to repeat he's 6"5?
So we all got in the van at 5 am (yes, Mariann was 2 hours old!) and went back to the real bedroom that was waiting for us at the house of birth.

Did you ever played with one of those? My cousin had one. The baby pops and Barbie instantanly get her before-pregnancy shape.

I have mixed feelings on that one. Reminds me more of a C-section (except the instant shape part of course) than a natural birth.

I was so relief not having to get an epidural, also!

Should I buy a toy to help explain birth to a child, I'd way prefer this Waldorf version.

I think we should talk more about birth than the fact that it's painful. Yes, it hurts, a lot! But
there is so much more in the experience of giving birth!


  1. Oh if only we could all just "pop" and get our figures back after giving birth. Birth is an amazing thing no matter where it happens. I had a c-section and all I cared about afterward was getting my toes to wiggle so I could hold my little man.

  2. What a birthing story!

    I did 12h of hard labour, 2h of actual pushing (baby was stuck and dr. was trying to turn him) and we ended up in the OR anyways with a C-section.

    My second one was a scheduled C-section and he came early at 37 wks which threw all of us off ;)

    But in the end the only thing that matters is that little face looking at you while one tiny hand is holding your finger.

  3. This is a very nice post! I did 36 hours of labor. 36. Let me tell you I was more than exausted. It took me 34 hours to finally ask an epidural (wich I didn't want but the baby'S heart was tired and they began to fear for her life). One hour after, I was already feeling again the pain _ epidural didn't work on me. All that pain and feeling so useless. But when the pushing starts. I knew, I felt, I asnwered back to my precious little girl and I roar (oh yeas) and gave life.

    It is painfull. But I'll do it all over again without an esitation. All the 36 hours where worth it :)

    We buried the placenta and plant a tree over it - it's her tree :)

  4. Hi there-

    I also had a midwife and natural labor.
    I was super duper shocked at how painful the process was. There was NOTHING that could have prepared me for that. I'm also nervous about subsequent deliveries because of the amount of pain involved.

    That Barbie cracks me up! We sure set up women in our society to fail, you know? Those dolls are just silly. When did looking like a living, breathing, non-perfect human become such a crime? It's a disservice to our children. Blah blah...sorry to whine.

    I like your blog! I look forward to reading more!

  5. Ah, I love this entry. I have never experienced a natural birth. All three of my children have arrived via c-sections because of one medical complication or another. A part of my has always felt at a loss because I missed out on that experience. But giving birth any which way is a wonderous, painful and joyous event.

    I think the barbie dolls are crappy. They mislead and misinform our children. Pregnancy and birth are natural and nothing to be ashamed of. We need to have more honest dialogue about it. No ones body just snaps back into shape afterward.


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I'm a 23 yr old mommy of two little pixies, sharing my life with my best friend. We live in La Belle Province, French is our first language. In the middle of nursing and caring for a toddler's need, I sew, draw, paint, and take pictures to tell. We also struggle to live an healthy life, apparently surrounded by people that doesn't care much, and we're on budget, too!


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