The second time you're scared because you know what to expect.
Said the midwife-to-be at our last appointment.
Somehow I'm not. I can't wait. And I know what to expect. It would be painful, gross, I'll end up saying I want it all to just stop. But at the end, at the very end, we'll have another little being to love, all depending on us. And that is worth all the pain I'm having right now, and all the intense pain I'm gonna go through that day, and all the helplessness my BF is living.
My first time took me 13h. I had no "practice contractions" before. No braxton hicks. I really, really didn't know what to expect. The pain struck me. So much that it stopped my labor, and since the midwife tried to keep it going by breaking my water, and I couldn't just wait for it to start again... so, to my displeasure, we got to the hospital, called the anastesist. Oh no.
The trip (in ambulance) to the hospital took 20min. My BF was following in the minivan.
As much as I was moaning before getting in ambulance, I felt silent as they closed the door and the mifwife took my hand. I calmed down and grounded. I felt every contractions, as painful as they felt, begin to actually work. I took each waves couragously, and soon felt the urge to push.
By the time we enter the hospital, I was fully dilated and pushing. The BF entered running in the room, and they called the anastesist that she could stay home in her pyj finally (it was 3 am). And I pushed for about 20min.
The pushing didn't hurt. Well, it did, but nothing compared to the contractions.
I felt strong, I felt we were getting somewhere. Then I could see the head of the mirror in front of me.
I requested that me and my BF take the baby out together, and we did (we have an awesome picture with my little hand and his huge hand getting out the tiny thing. I won't post it because some of you might find it gross).
And it was done. I had that little bundle on my belly, all pink, crying strong, covered by various fluid. And I felt awesome. Painless (after the placenta was out. Did you ever touch one? It really feels like velour!) Painless and awesome. I wish I didn't have the IV connected. I didn't need it anyway, but it was an hospital requierement.
The nurse proposed that we stayed in the (ugly, asseptic) hospital room, saying to my BF she would take a camp bed out for him. Do I need to repeat he's 6"5?
So we all got in the van at 5 am (yes, Mariann was 2 hours old!) and went back to the real bedroom that was waiting for us at the house of birth.
Did you ever played with one of those? My cousin had one. The baby pops and Barbie instantanly get her before-pregnancy shape.
I have mixed feelings on that one. Reminds me more of a C-section (except the instant shape part of course) than a natural birth.
I was so relief not having to get an epidural, also!
Should I buy a toy to help explain birth to a child, I'd way prefer this Waldorf version.
I think we should talk more about birth than the fact that it's painful. Yes, it hurts, a lot! But
there is so much more in the experience of giving birth!