First birth Story: Guest Mama Jen

Hello everyone!

I'm happy to say that the first "finalized" text arrived in my mail box today!

So please welcome Mama Jen from Brume de lune and Au Bois d'étoiles...

This is the story of Gaëlle, our little pixie princess who joined our tribe on her father’s birthday! We had a birth plan filled with instructions, we were packed and anxious (this was our first), but trilled and ready (or so we thought).

Little did we know it would be 36 hours of labour before I could held her in my arms. After 34 hours, I was exhausted, at a point, where I could not even stand, walk, pray, or do anything; I was an emotional wreck and the doctor and nurses were exchanging the look....You know...THE look that something is wrong.

The fact is that my baby was tired too, her hearth was getting weaker and I had to get her out as soon as possible (easy to say...). So even if this wasn’t part of our plan, at all, I took the famous shot and relaxed enough to get ready to push. After more complications, my husband finally reached out to get our baby and gave her to me, as we both started crying.

She was beautiful.

I know that all babies are. But at that moment, my daughter was for me, the only thing in the world. She was so soft, so small, smelling so good that I didn’t even notice people coming in and out of the room, doctor sewing me up (!): Noting matter, the pain, the fatigue, the blood, nothing meant a thing – I had forget them all, and was ready to gave her all my best.

I’ve learned that you can plan, you can want, you can expect. But you also have to be ready to face the “impossible”, you also have to be ready to change your mind, your way of thinking, your opinion because when you are giving birth, there is nothing more important than the safety of your child. It is ok to be insecure, it is ok to doubt, to question, to ask for information – and you should do it. It is also ok to have to let go some aspect of your “perfect little birth”, because things happen sometimes.

You can bring a whole lot of baggage with you, physical and non physical, but at the end, you will find yourself, alone, naked, fragile and tired. You will have to be ready to be your best during the birth and after, because it doesn’t stop there. Being able to adapt, to ask for help, to express your concerns and decide what you want or don’t want for your child is a whole process too.

Thanks a lot Jen for this lovely post!