Being/Becoming a Mother...part 1

I felt the urge to become a mother at a really young age. I was really tom boy, more playing with cars than barbies (I mostly had younger cousins) and haven't wear a dress (with my consent) before the age of 15. Still I was happy to be a girl, because I would grow into a woman that will be able to give life. And that made feel special.

I knew I'd have enough love to give, and enough patience to give birth to another human being and be there for him/her the rest of his/her life. I know I wasn't scared. I've heard that many many woman are scared while being pregnant, but somehow I [almost] never was. And I've never doubt I would have children who would have feel loved, all their life. If sometime I doubted I could take another night without sleep, another hour of crying while trying to put my daugther to nap, those fears didn't last long and didn't matter at the end. I see now a really happy and healthy and curious toddler that smiles most of the time, laugh out load often and still cry when it's time for nap and bed.

The first time I was sure I was pregnant was a pure moment of joy. I was so thrilled that a life could grow inside me! I felt so lucky, as we were trying for only 2 months, when I hear woman that hopes for years and never get the chance. I was so grateful for life, and having my boyfriend with me made it even more better. We've blown away midwifes, nurse, and social worker (those last 2 were imposed by the government since we were 18) by our will to form a family, our joy to become parents (we saw the social worker twice, she decided we didn't need her...) And I began this great adventure of becoming parent with total trust in life.

Even before getting pregnant I was ready to change of state. From the young woman to the mother. I really felt a need to give all that love I had. I never had a father, and I felt the urge to create a real family around me.

...to be continued